Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
