Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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