Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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