You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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