Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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