No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
