Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
