Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
