When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
