my vag is so smooth its legendary
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
