I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
