Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
