Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my being single is dangerous.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
