either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
