It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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