He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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