Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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