I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
