ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
