I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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