Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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