i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dicks are not precious.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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