i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
dude. I can hear the air.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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