Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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