so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
