Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
