I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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