all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
