I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
