I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
