whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
