woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
