I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
