By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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