Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
