RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
