she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
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