May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
