At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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