come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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