And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
