Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
