A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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