Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
