Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
