just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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