why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
