And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
