i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
