hell yes lets make some ravioli
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
