Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
