i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
