I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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