After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
